TKO!

We Did It!

CCR: three letters I never knew I wanted to hear. Complete Clinical Response! The tumor is gone, the cancer is gone—Elvis has left the building. Kathy 2, Cancer 0. Don’t mess with me!

So, Kathy, why aren’t you over the moon? Why aren’t you dancing in the streets? Well, I am! I’m overflowing with joy and gratitude. And yet, I’m also in this strange, in-between place. No one really talks about this time after treatment ends (halle-f#*#ing-luja - no more chemo!). My team is still there if I need them, but I don’t see them regularly anymore. They became like an extended family—a place where I could share gratitude, fears, questions, and, of course, baked treats. I used to bring my list of “petty” concerns to every appointment, and sure, I could post them on Patient Gateway, but now they feel trivial.

My brain sees my calendar and thinks, “We’re done!” But my body isn’t so sure. There’s a long list of temporary and permanent side effects I won’t bore you with—little reminders I’d rather not have.

There’s a 50-50 chance those pesky cancer cells will recur. And yes, there’s a 50-50 chance they won’t! Still, my body remains on high alert. The perfect news is wrapped in a package with a variable that could change everything. I am celebrating—though cautiously.

Sometimes, I almost feel ungrateful for not fully embracing the CCR. I feel...unenlightened. I know the power of positive thinking, and there are so many moments when I can see the miracle that the cancer is G-O-N-E. I appreciate my “fight song,” my courage, my strength. But there are also times when I just want to wake up from this bad dream and leave it all behind. As the saying goes, “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it robs us of today’s peace.” Thich Nhat Hanh further remimds us “the present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.” Amen to that.

On the bright side, I’m getting stronger every day. My favorite PT has advised against running—yet. I’m building back my muscle strength, including that big one that beats lovingly inside me. You know there’s one more 26.2 in my future!

 I’ve been so grateful for all the cards, care packages, healing energy and love you’ve sent my way. We’ll celebrate together soon! In the meantime, keep those good thoughts and vibes coming -  and drop me a text now and then. After all, positivity is contagious!